What are your views on love stories?
Why don't you think about it while reading what I have to say?
While living a true love story is not for the fainthearted, not all love stories are true or great, certainly not the one-sided ones. Don't get me wrong, I do understand how fragile matters of the heart are. Really, I do. But what gets my goat is ruining somebody's life by advertising false hopes. Yes, by agreeing to a relationship on paper, under parental pressure or for society's sake all the while keeping the partner in the dark. What also irks me further is choosing to stay on in such relationships with the hope of being loved back one day. For me, if you need to wait for a person to love you, you probably have to wait forever. And that's not worth it at all.
Humans are suckers for love, all kinds of love. Love, this food for the soul, still gives meaning to life, even in today's materialistic world. But at times the need for it turns so extreme that you end up giving more of it than you ideally should. That's when love turns into your undoing.
While love is one of the most beautiful binding factors in life, it is infamous for ruining lives too. Many have lost playing this game. Finding that one person who values the heart's rapport as much as, or possibly even more than you do, is nothing short of a miracle. The best part is such miracles do happen and quite often too. But once in a while love becomes more of a bane than a blessing. That is what needs to be recognized and shunned.
Frankly, I don't understand why people choose to stay on in unloved relationships. And probably I won't ever. In fact, I don't want to either. But I have seen some friends hold on to love, for dear life, with no reciprocation from the other end. None whatsoever.
Every time I witness something like that my stomach churns. Yes, for no one deserves to be unhappy in love. But there is this invisible shield which blinds the givers in such relationships. They just don't want to let go, even for their own sake. Even if they know that they ought to.
Every relationship has a person who gives into it more than the other and that's perfectly alright. But only as long as the disparity is not striking. As long as their is willingness and recognition of the same from both sides. Also, the desire to invest oneself completely into the bond.
Unfortunately, it doesn't always work that way and I have seen many a heart get broken in the process. The attraction and the desire to make it work sometimes goes beyond the point from where salvaging the person becomes more difficult than salvaging the relationship.
I know someone who has been doing the same, over and over again. I want that person to stop because this fight to be loved, to be cared for is only going to lead to depression. In fact, it has already led him there. It is a lost battle. I fear there won't be any turning back if it is taken further.
But the heart wants what the heart wants and nothing I say can change anything. Still, maybe someday realization will dawn, before it's too late.
How does one know that enough is enough?
For each relationship, there are markers to determine when it's really over. To tell you when you should not hope any longer but move on. It has to be there. It is probably the heart that recognizes it best but stops the brain from relaying the thought. When it comes to a married couple, these markers are defined more clearly, at least in my mind.
You know you need to walk out and probably never look back...
If you, yes you reading this, or maybe anyone you know is in any such relationship please tell them to stop. There is no point in being in a relationship which is stagnant. There is no point in being in a relationship where they take two steps away at every forward step of yours. Please know then that enough is enough.
- When you are the only one making the effort to save and build your relationship.
- When you spend your birthdays alone inspite of being in the same city.
- When they deliberately avoid coming back home from trips to avoid birthdays and anniversaries.
- When they like to spend more time away from you and search excuses to do the same.
- When they show no interest in making a home together,
- When they don't accompany you to social gatherings and don't take you along when they do attend one.
- When they refuse to socialize with your friends and family.
- When your relationship is one-sided at best.
- When what you feel, your health is of no concern to them.
- When they have no problem in leaving you alone even if you are in poor health.
- When indifference and neglect is what you get in return for love.