Here I was ready to write about
different ways to get rid of or dodge
unwanted guests, thanks to my recent dealings with a certain someone, but what
do you know? Life had some other plans altogether!
Monday mornings have this dexterity
to curve ball plans into something entirely different. Well, that’s exactly what
happened today. So, if you find this post tedious or too serious, blame it on Mondays
What is your take on problems or obstacles?
Have you noticed how we always feel that ours are the biggest
and the harshest of the lot? Whenever anything goes wrong we scream
about life being unfair, especially on us. Or, simply that for some
God-forsaken reason the grass just doesn’t grow green on our side of the divide.
While it can be true, not denying that, it is not exclusive only to us.
Everyone has their own demons to fight. Or, their battles to win.
Trust me, just like us there are
others who don’t win every battle, every time. But do you know what the sad thing
is? Sometimes people don’t even win the war
But what am I getting at?
Since we all have our share of
troubles you would think we would be sensitive to each other’s plights as well.
But the truth, sadly, is far from it.
There is a peculiar sadistic delight we
seek in rubbing ones worries on their faces.
While talking to a few friends of mine I realized how eager we are to intensify each others pain. Each of them had a story to share about that aunt or acquaintance who crossed the line into hurting them in the guise of concern.
Take the example of married women in India who do not yet have a child, are trying to have a child or choose
not to have a child. Here's what happens.
- The woman, more than the man, is
subjected to uncomfortable questions about her fertility.
- She is made to feel that motherhood is everything there is to a woman's life.
- If the woman has any other health
issues, she is constantly badgered about those accompanied by unsolicited advice
on how to tackle that in to having a baby.
- If the couple decides to not have a
child, the woman is made to feel awful about her decision.
I have just mentioned a few things
here. Believe me when I say this, there is more. It's all true too because these are not derived after reading some news
reports or a figment of my imagination. These are conclusions I have arrived at after having spoken to many of
my friends and colleagues over the years. And being married for almost 5 years now, I have faced a fair bit of nonsense from these nosy buffoons as well.
For some reason, we find it reasonable
to hit where it hurts or pull someone down further. Sometimes we do it without even realizing it. Yes, that's how normal (not) it is to do that here. We poke our nose in a business which is not really ours, time and again. Strange thing is, we don’t even care if that eventually hurts
someone. We don't care if our poking leaves a long term impact on the psyche of someone.
I usually deal with unsought advise by making it clear in no uncertain terms that it is only my business and nobody else's. If they can be shameless, what's stopping me from being blunt? But not everyone is the same.
I don't know why we as humans do that. Do you?
But I can tell you this that there are certain things we shouldn't even dare ask someone, let alone a woman. We need to know our limits. We need to know where to draw the line.
So, maybe the women our there need to put up a list to thwart these nonsensical inquiries. A list saying which questions shouldn't be asked of them ever. Maybe walk with copies of this list into a room full of these praying mantis types?
What do you say?
Here is a list that I can think of. You are welcome to add yours here.
- Are you pregnant?
- When are you having a baby?
- Are you planning to have a baby?
- What it's been a year and still no baby?
- Why don't you get yourself checked since no good news yet?
- Why don't you want to have a baby?
- When are you giving us the good news?
- Are your cycles fairly regular?
- You had a baby girl. Good. Now, when are you planning for the boy baby?
- When are you planning for the second baby?
Seems I covered all variations for married women, well, almost. Why don't you add on to the list too?
Linking to #MicroblogMondays & #MondayMusings