If you think about it, you probably aren't who you were, say, a year ago anymore. In fact, why even go so far as a
year? You may not even be the same person you were a few months ago. Like it or not, stealthily
these vicissitudes creep in. It is only when someone explicitly points it out or perhaps in those rare moments of clarity that you realize the extent of change.
When the latter happens, it actually feels like an out of body experience. You see
yourself behaving differently much against everything you thought was true about you, your approach and manner of reaction. Of course, whether the change is for
the better or worse is a different thing altogether.
Now, I have no qualms in admitting that my reactions are not really matured or balanced in every aspect of life. Impulsive is perhaps an adjective that describes me best. Hence, on several occasions I may come up with a response which is passionate to the tee but not entirely objective. It's not to say I don't recognize that but I don't admit that everyday either ,well, with me being me. Reacting impulsively is more my thing. But for the past few weeks there have been occasions when I have astonished myself with my response on several fronts. It appears as though I've suddenly become more open to listening and thinking from someone else's perspective. This, trust me, is very strange and even scary for it is completely alien to me.
What do I mean?
My reactions to certain incidents and my take on certain controversial topics have been completely opposite to what they would normally have been, several times actually. I sort of watched myself, almost as if from a distance, choose being sensible over being reactive or myopic.
I'm not sure if it makes any sense. Also, in no ways have I become more logical or enlightened but some nuances of wisdom have certainly crept in. Of course, I'm not sure if this is a fleeting change or here to last.
Here's what I feel. With age, experience and time, you, I and every single individual on the face of the earth undergoes some kind of change or the other. Gradually over a period of time, lot of invisible changes coalesce into something tangible, almost always without caution.
Perhaps that is what it is and I hope this one lasts. It's nice to not be hot-headed at all times. Calmness is quite enjoyable actually. I'm sure S would laugh because we both know how much of a tectonic shift is needed to actually introduce myself as calm, collected and balanced. But that's a discussion for another day.
Tell me have you experienced something similar as well?
Do we really change with time?