Tell Them Off...#MondayMusings


I remember reading about tolerance when I was in school. I knew of the word but I truly understood the meaning only after reading about it in a chapter in some school book. I don’t remember which it was though. However, I do remember the gist. It basically said that we need to be liberal and open-minded towards opinions different from our own. We may have our own beliefs and ideas but they don’t necessarily have to be right or accepted by others. The idea of tolerance was inculcated back then and ever since I have tried to be patient and accepting to viewpoints diverse from my own.

“It is not for me to judge another man's life. I must judge, I must choose, I must spurn, purely for myself. For myself, alone.”  ― Hermann Hesse, Siddhartha

But I’m no saint neither am I perfect, so I have often gotten carried away to the point of brandishing others wrong, yes without dialogue or debate. And I’m sure I still do it now. In fact, I know I even do it now. But as much as possible, I make a conscious effort, every now and then, to understand and comprehend what someone else is saying. And even contemplate on the whys. But in doing so I have often confused tolerance with not voicing dissent.

“The highest result of education is tolerance” ― Helen Keller

I have found that in my quest of being tolerant, I have often stopped myself from being completely honest about what I feel. Or, rather I have stopped myself from voicing my opinions freely. But that has not stopped others from expressing anything and everything that comes to their mind, sometimes even to the point of being blatantly offensive. And that is not tolerance, that’s simply letting people walk all over you. Sadly, I have been guilty of doing so.

While tolerance is welcome, off of late I have realized that I can no longer deal with the conceit of people who are clearly in over their heads. I’ll tell you about a simple incident which perhaps might clarify the point to a certain extent. It was ethnic day at my sister’s office the other day. And this colleague of hers came out of nowhere to tell her that she was looking bad, fat and what not because she had chosen to wear a cotton saree. Now, if you analyze carefully, how my sister was looking is not even the question here. The point is, people are so full of it that they don’t even know what, when or how to speak. Subtlety and courtesy are lost arts and it’s not tolerance to be at the receiving end of it, which by the way I have naively been believing all along. But not anymore.

“He thinks the sun comes up just to hear him crow.” ― Charles Martin, Chasing Fireflies

I am done nodding to, well, non-sense. So, next time when a certain friend of mine tells me that everyone is busy emulating her, I’ll tell her that’s just her fantasy. She first needs to be someone to be emulated. And I don’t mean someone famous, someone in her own right. When a couple that I’m acquainted with judges every second person they see, I’ll tell them they first need to stop living off their parents’ money. Don’t judge others when you have yourself not accomplished anything at all in life. Yes, even something as basic as your financial independence.

“The more a man knows, the more willing he is to learn. The less a man knows, the more positive he is that he knows everything...” ― Robert G. Ingersoll

When someone blows her own trumpet incessantly, I’ll ask her to gain some self-restraint. When someone judges me for tweeting for brands in exchange for money, I’ll tell them you are not the boss of me. And since you go to every damn ‘free’ event in town you have no right to criticize. When that blogger acquaintance of mine talks big about righteousness, I’ll remind her of the numerous occasions she sold her so called ‘principles’ for freebies. When someone pretends to be my friend and doesn’t even find time to come and see me, I’ll make my displeasure known. When those over-zealous, pretentious bootlickers sermonize about how I need to go about my career, I’ll shut them up saying I’m not theirs to be driven.

“In contrast to your usual minions, I imagine, I’m a bit more awed by your conceit and arrogance than I am by your supposed magnificence.” ― Caitlin Crews, The Replacement Wife

Fundamentally, I’m done being nice. I’m done being quiet. I’m tired of the stupidity around me. The sheer nonsense people dish out, if you let them do it that is. This cacophony of twaddle has been driving me crazy. And I’m to blame because I should have shut them up when I had the chance.

I think lately I have lost thepower to endure nonsense. Hence, the flurry of posts along the same lines. I’m sure there are people, maybe even you, who think I should stop with the whining. There are things about me that people, maybe even you, don’t like. I don’t blame you. After all, I’m far from perfect. So feel free to tell me off!

“If a man thinks he is not conceited, he is very conceited indeed.” ― C.S. Lewis


But before you go, tell me how do you deal people who judge others relentlessly? 

How do you deal with people who sing their own praises without batting even an eyelid? 

Do you tell them off or just let them carry on? 

And if you do the latter, doesn’t that bother you or get on your nerves?

© www.nabanitadhar.in/
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