I remember reading about
tolerance
when I was in school. I knew of the word but I truly understood the meaning only after reading about it in a chapter in some school book. I don’t
remember which it was though. However, I do remember the gist. It basically said
that
we
need to be liberal and open-minded towards opinions different from our own. We
may have our own beliefs and ideas but they don’t necessarily have to be right
or accepted by others. The idea of tolerance was inculcated back then
and ever since I have tried to be patient and accepting to viewpoints diverse
from my own.
“It
is not for me to judge another man's life. I must judge, I must choose, I must
spurn, purely for myself. For myself, alone.”
― Hermann Hesse, Siddhartha
But I’m no saint neither am I
perfect, so I have often gotten carried away to the point of brandishing others
wrong, yes without dialogue or debate. And I’m sure I still do it now. In fact,
I know
I even do it now. But as much as possible, I make a conscious effort, every now
and then, to understand and comprehend what someone else is saying. And even
contemplate on the whys. But in doing so I have often confused tolerance with not
voicing dissent.
“The
highest result of education is tolerance” ― Helen Keller
I have found that in my quest of
being tolerant, I have often stopped myself from being completely honest about
what I feel. Or, rather I have stopped myself from voicing my opinions freely. But
that has not stopped others from expressing anything and everything that comes
to their mind, sometimes even to the point of being blatantly offensive.
And that is not tolerance, that’s simply letting people walk all over you.
Sadly, I have been guilty of doing so.
While tolerance is welcome, off of late I have realized that I can no longer deal with the conceit of people who
are clearly in over their heads. I’ll tell you about a simple incident which perhaps
might clarify the point to a certain extent. It was ethnic day at my sister’s
office the other day. And this colleague of hers came out of nowhere to tell her
that she was looking bad, fat and what not because she had chosen to wear a
cotton saree. Now, if you analyze
carefully, how my sister was looking is not even the question here. The
point is, people are so full of it that they don’t even know what, when or how
to speak. Subtlety and courtesy are lost arts and it’s not tolerance to
be at the receiving end of it, which by the way I have naively been believing all
along. But not anymore.
“He
thinks the sun comes up just to hear him crow.” ― Charles Martin, Chasing
Fireflies
I am done nodding to, well,
non-sense. So, next time when a certain friend of mine tells me that everyone is
busy emulating her, I’ll tell her that’s just her fantasy. She first needs to
be someone to be emulated. And I don’t mean someone famous, someone in her own
right. When a couple that I’m acquainted with judges every second person they
see, I’ll tell them they first need to stop living off their parents’ money.
Don’t
judge others when you have yourself not accomplished anything at all in life.
Yes, even something as basic as your financial independence.
“The
more a man knows, the more willing he is to learn. The less a man knows, the
more positive he is that he knows everything...” ― Robert G. Ingersoll
When someone blows her own trumpet
incessantly, I’ll ask her to gain some self-restraint. When someone judges me
for tweeting for brands in exchange for money, I’ll tell them you are not the
boss of me. And since you go to every damn ‘free’ event in town you have no
right to criticize. When that blogger acquaintance of mine talks big about righteousness,
I’ll remind her of the numerous occasions she sold her so called ‘principles’
for freebies. When someone pretends to be my friend and doesn’t even find time
to come and see me, I’ll make my displeasure known. When those over-zealous,
pretentious bootlickers sermonize about how I need to go about my career, I’ll
shut them up saying I’m not theirs to be driven.
“In
contrast to your usual minions, I imagine, I’m a bit more awed by your conceit
and arrogance than I am by your supposed magnificence.” ― Caitlin Crews, The
Replacement Wife
Fundamentally, I’m done being nice.
I’m done being quiet. I’m tired of the stupidity around me. The sheer nonsense people
dish out, if you let them do it that is. This cacophony of twaddle has been driving me
crazy. And I’m to blame because I should have shut them up when I had the
chance.
I think lately
I have lost thepower to endure nonsense. Hence, the flurry of
posts along the same lines. I’m
sure there are people, maybe even you, who think I should stop with the
whining. There are things about me that people, maybe even you, don’t like. I
don’t blame you. After all, I’m far from perfect. So feel free to tell me off!
“If a
man thinks he is not conceited, he is very conceited indeed.” ― C.S. Lewis
But before you go, tell me how do
you deal people who judge others relentlessly?
How do you deal with people who sing
their own praises without batting even an eyelid?
Do you tell them off or just
let them carry on?
And if you do the latter, doesn’t that bother you or get on
your nerves?
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Linking this to #MondayMusings & #MicroblogMondays