Life Over Death...#MondayMusings


There are battles each and every one of us has to fight in life. Invisible agonies, hopelessness and this feeling of being trapped sometimes exceeds beyond a point of no return. Maybe then death seems more alluring, almost like escaping a sinking ship or a collapsing building. Maybe.

Have you ever felt this way?

Well, I remember a time when I did feel weighed down by life, just not sure if it was to this extent though. It was the time when S and I were trying to get married. If you are familiar with India, you’ll know how hard marrying the person you love could turn out to be.

My parents had given me a very privileged, happy life. But even they couldn’t save me from the trials and tribulations that a mere attempt at an inter-state marriage could bring about in this country. Of-course, that’s all done and dusted now. Thank God for that. But yes I shudder thinking about that time even now, a time when I felt totally dejected. But even then never for a moment did the thought of suicide cross my mind. Maybe because in many ways my parents had taught me to endure and fight on. Also, and most importantly, because I had S by my side. It was not a battle I was fighting alone.

Having said that, it’s not easy for everybody. No one should ever have to feel this way and if they do, there must be help available. However, there are people who don’t get the support they should. And sadly, we end up losing them to this brute we call suicide.

I have heard my mother speak of an uncle who had, for reasons known only to him, committed suicide when his wife was pregnant with their son. No one knows till date what was bothering him. No one even knew that something was bothering him actually. On the surface he seemed fine, which clearly he wasn’t. Perhaps there were signs which no one picked up on. This was somewhere in the 80s when talking about depression and mental health was frowned upon even more than it is today. My first close brush with suicide came years later when I was in the first year of Engineering. And I didn’t like the feeling one bit.



It was like any other day. We were at the workshop engaged in black smithy, welding, carpentry, etc… one of those subjects in engineering first year. I don’t quite remember which one I was assigned to but I do recall seeing him that afternoon. He was in the welding shop, focused on fusing items together. No he didn’t seem out of the ordinary at all. In fact, you wouldn’t have noticed him either. Actually, neither did I until that terrible, terrible news came out later that night or the next morning perhaps. He was found dead, hanging from the ceiling fan of his hostel room. He had committed suicide because he couldn’t take the ragging anymore.

I don’t know why but I wish I had spoken to him that day. I wish I had told him ragging is just a phase and it will pass. I wish I had told him that 10 years down the line when you look back at the ragging episodes, you’ll only end up laughing. I wish someone had spoken to him.

No, I don’t support ragging and I never ragged any junior ever in my life. But it’s not something we should lose our lives to. I wish I had noticed him when he was in the workshop and not as an afterthought.

As per a report by WHO, every 40 seconds a person dies by suicide somewhere in the world. Imagine!

In India, there is apathy in the attitude towards depression and mental illness. We fail to recognize these as ailments that need to be treated. It’s still a taboo to admit that there is someone in the family suffering from the same. Educated and uneducated alike, there is a dearth of understanding on the magnitude of importance of professional care when it comes to these. That’s why we need to talk about it more and more, spread awareness. That’s why the fight needs to be intensified further. And what better way than each of us pledging to start by changing our own outlook?


So, tell me, will you join me in this? 

Will you help the world in #SuicidePrevention in any way you can? 

I hope you do!

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