Living Beyond The Loss

How do you cope with losing someone? I wouldn’t say I have pondered on this question at length because, well, honestly to do that I need to imagine losing someone. And that is something I’m absolutely petrified of doing. But the mind does wander there sometimes, doesn’t it? And then no matter how much you try to muzzle that evil inner voice, it keeps on asking, and nonstop, what would you do if you lose someone you love? Well, it’s a terrifying and heart breaking proposition to even imagine what it would be like.

To end is life’s only certainty, ironically. This life which urges us to live actually comes with an expiry date for all. Whether you and I think about it or not, a date and time has been ordained to be our last. But what is scary is that the same is certain for whom we love as well. The only consolation being the hope that such a day doesn’t arrive for them before it does for us. Well, what's life without a little hope? But it hardly works out the way you want it to, does it?

In this mad dash for bread and butter, relationships often take a backseat. Or, maybe that’s not the right way to put it? After all, whatever you do, or don’t, is for your family’s well-being in the long run. But somewhere the time spent with your near and ones does get compromised or postponed to a day in the future or perhaps the next. And all this is alright as well, until of-course that future is snatched away by an unseen, cruel brush of fate.

What do you do then? Do you stop living? No. But that seems to be the only option sometimes, doesn’t it? However, as hard as it might be and as rude as it might sound, your aim should be to live overcoming that tragedy. And I’ll tell you why, at the risk of sounding preachy and emotionally disconnected of-course.

Often, when you experience loss, the response is to pick up the pieces and live but actually not live at all. Confused? When tragedy strikes, people often say, and even believe, that they have nothing left to live for, expect maybe their children. But I say here, it shouldn’t be so. You cannot live for anyone else unless you are ready to live for your own self.

I don’t claim that it is going to be easy. Not at all. How could it be when the one you love and adore is not there by your side anymore? Nothing, or rather no one can fill that void. I cannot imagine such a situation and if, God-forbid, that happens I’ll be a wreck. But one can’t live like that forever. Neither I nor you should ever have to live like that and certainly not forever. You need to cry, be angry but heal, carry the hurt but still heal. 

I hope you never face such a situation but if you do, try and remember that you need to not only move on but live while doing so. Remember to live beyond the loss. And perhaps even remind me the same when I'm in need of it. You and I, every soul in this world is afraid of losing someone. It's quite natural. For now though stop worrying, close that laptop of yours, keep aside that phone and go tell that special someone how much you love them and how much they mean to you. Tell your parents and siblings how they have made your life beautiful. Go spend this life with them, weave memories and deal with every other concern later.

Stay well, stay blessed!