Life is just an amalgamation of change, isn't it? Some huge while others barely noticeable. And these changes, they take place so swiftly that you can hardly perceive them at times. No sooner you get adjusted to a particular pattern than the next chapter begins. To say it’s overwhelming , when thought about deeply, is a massive understatement really.
Wouldn't it be wonderful thus if you could just pick the most beautiful moment of you life and , in some way, continue living in that phase. Wishful, I know, and certainly very stagnating. But at times the heart just wishes for it.
Today, for some strange reason, change seems more a foe than a friend. It seems like just yesterday I was this teenager swooning over Justin Timberlake and here I am now feeling like this reluctant female Hercules forced to bear earth’s weight. Sometimes reality does strike you abruptly, catching you unawares, perhaps that’s the reason for my peculiar outburst today.
There was a time when my life was in Shillong. And then the lure of independence and doing something took me to a new city and then to another. Home, well, became a term that I attributed to more than one place at one point in time and still do. I’m befuddled at the rate at which everything changed and still continues to change. Well, a learned woman or man once said that change is the only constant, apparently it’s true.
You must be wondering why I’m so hung up on change all of a sudden. Well, honestly I don’t know the answer to that. When I look back I realize how very different my life is compared to how it was, different good of-course, but so very different. There’s this overflow of emotions recalling the old times, especially today, that I just don’t want life to change anymore. I just want to hold on to what I have and what I am. It’s a phase I know but life does throw such curve balls making you wish to avoid the unknown. One moment you believe change is not bad and at the very next you feel this staunch aversion to it.
Maybe my sudden apathy to change has got to do with the ridiculous amount of pressure at work. An important, important task had to be done by me last week for the very first time after my promotion. I couldn't do it wrong, there was no option to fail. Why? Because then they would say it was a wrong decision to promote me over my male counterpart and I couldn't take that. No, sir. Therefore you can understand why I spent the past few days hyperventilating almost. And with the stress levels high, I started thinking about how I got from being fairly carefree to a woman with so many things to take care of. The answer, well, boiled down to change. And the rest, well, is self explanatory now, isn't it?
Well, I guess in life things will keep changing and the key is to not fret!
You tell me do you like change, all of it? Do you go through phases where you just wish to stay where you are and maybe not change anything about your life? Do you?