Feminism Isn't A Bad Word

There’s a disturbing trend in our midst today, the trend of mocking anything and everything a woman says or does. Ridiculing womenfolk seems to be very much in vogue. Oops, did I just say vogue? Guess I did, didn't I? Well, I better move on lest I’m thrashed for using that word.

The peculiar need to condemn feminism and use terms like femi-nazis is a fad today. But that’s not even the appalling part, really. The disgraceful reality, and with which I have a bigger problem, is that women themselves fail to support their own kind. Yes, not only men but women too are party to this repulsive propaganda of condemning women. Before you jump to any conclusions, I just want to say that I don’t have any fight against men, the good ones that is. But yes I do have a bone to pick with all men and women who are responsible in some way or the other for problems womankind face.

Now, where was I? Yes, this strange need to belittle women. Tell me how do you chose one woman’s cause over the other? Or, can you even do that? How do you say that what one woman is saying regarding empowerment is more valid than the other? I don’t know, I can’t do that, not unless what she is saying makes no sense at all.

In the past few days, you and I have been witness to numerous reactions of our society against women. An actress was trolled because she showed up at her boyfriend’s game, a game that his side lost. Seemingly, it was her fault! Then of-course, we did a little bit of damage control by honoring a woman badminton player. Well, at-least some sense prevailed. But then we also ended up criticizing a woman actor when she spoke about depression. Apparently by the mob’s expert opinion she was faking it. But yes if the same would have been revealed by a male actor we would have kept him on a pedestal. Remember how much we fought to support the sermons of a particular male actor? How much we supported his choice to regard the AIB roast as worthy of censor? In fact, we even attacked the standup comedian who dared to challenge him? Well, if you had any doubts about the existence of hypocrites, I think you should have your answer by now.

It’s imperative to desire equal rights for men and women. That is what I want too. But you and I have to reach there. There is a disparity and , newsflash, it is there in the urban areas too. If you think the women working in corporate offices don’t encounter bias, then you haven’t done your homework right. While empowerment needs to begin at the grass root level, an attempt to talk about the same at the other echelons of society shouldn't be denounced either. You cannot fight a battle for rights and chose to only fight for one section.

Now, there’s so much noise about a video that has been doing the rounds. To me that video, in essence, was a message to men who try to stop women or who think they are superior beings. It was a message stressing on the fact that women can and will do what they want
. If they are wrong, if they commit mistakes, it will be theirs to own. I don’t understand what’s wrong with that. And why take it so personally? Or, is it just fashionable to criticize?

Haven’t you, yes you, sitting with a laptop in your air conditioned office or home faced situations where men have tried to restrict your choice? Or, do your problems become inconsequential because you are not from the rural areas? Or, does every video need a disclaimer that it is not aimed at the good and supportive men in our society? The fight is against those rotten apples. So, can’t we say anything to them? Or, we need a moral compass to do the math before uttering every single word? But no, our intelligentsia takes it personally, they think it is being said about their sons, husbands and fathers. I don’t know, I find it silly.

I too believe that whatever I do, right or wrong, morally acceptable or not, it is my choice. Period. It's a woman's choice if she wants to have a baby at some point in life or not. No third person will tell you whether you wish to have a child or not. Yes, later on the decision has to be discussed as a couple but what she as an individual wants will be her choice. And, yes, there is a difference between choice and consent. So all those men parodying this video saying they will rape women because it’s their choice, I have only this to say. This video, the message is indeed in many ways aimed at those Neanderthals only and looks like it hit them where it hurts.

Now, enough of the video because the problem women face is in no way limited to that. Let me tell you about the ‘empowered women’ working in corporate offices I have met in the course of my career. Let me tell you about those women who you think have it very easy, have money and therefore any video catering to that section must be farce.

♤ There are women who can’t were wear leggings with kurtis because their husbands don’t approve of it. These are managers and leads you work for, who deal with important foreign clients daily.
♤ There are women who are not allowed to wear sleeveless. Again, even if they want to.
♤ There are women who on going back home after a hard day’s work have to enter the kitchen immediately without rest.
♤ There are women who can’t were string tops because their husbands do not like it.
♤ There are women who are mocked and disturbed during their pregnancies because they don’t cook breakfast for their in-laws before leaving for office.
♤ There are women who are ridiculed in a professional forum because they post an ad for a cook. Apparently, they should cook for their husbands once they reach home no matter how tired.
♤ There are women who are given promotions over their male counterparts but reminded at every opportune moment that they had no intention of doing so but for the company policy.
♤ There are women who are killed, burnt and forced to commit suicide, yes, in cities too.

But then you think they are superficial, don’t you?

So, my humble request to you all, think a little and rise above superficial notes. And to all those highly educated and well-read women’s rights activists on the social media, how does attacking a woman make you any better than the man who passes lewd comments against one? Think about it. Think about it hard I suggest.

I also don’t want to punish or mock all of mankind. Please, I have some wonderful men in my life as I’m sure you do as well. But don’t you think something as simple as a woman’s choice is being tainted and given a twist? Why, why do we have to align to a moral compass and worry about what the society thinks?

Sometimes the society needs to be told and reminded that all those things that is expected of a woman may not be done by her one day. So, basically don't take her for granted. This change of surname, wearing a bindi or sindoor and covering ones head, women may chose not to do it. She may choose not to be paraded as a wife or a daughter-in-law anymore. And it's her body, it's her choice so if you have a problem, get a life!

Don’t belittle one cause from the other. Don’t lampoon everything that is said by women. Especially, the women out there, try and remember about that one person who tried to restrict your freedom. Then think about how your choice to do what you want, right or wrong is relevant.

And my dear, precious men, if you are not one of those Neanderthals, why get worked up? We know you are with us and we thank you for that. It’s not you we are against, you know?

Okay, now I know as always I’m going to be thrashed for this post by some but then I had to say what I had to. So, go on I’m waiting! :)

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