It’s so easy to sit on a pedestal and
pass judgments, isn't it? Judge people, more specifically women on a scale of morality
designed on the whims of the society. Well, it certainly seems so, otherwise
the kind of ludicrous declarations in the name of upholding culture, traditions
or the labels attributed to women wouldn't have been made in the first place.
And it doesn't end there, does it? From your home to your work place, there is
no dearth of people who feel this innate urge to make things difficult for
women, any woman. And they belong to both sides of the gender divide. Whether
they do it consciously or subconsciously, well, doesn't even matter.
Something as basic as what a woman wears strangely seems to be everybody else’s business. Why? Well, apparently the honor of the family and society rests on what she wears. And it’s not even restricted to only that, not that it’s acceptable even at that. It extends to whom she chooses as her life partner, if she chooses a life partner at all, if she goes on to become a mother or not. The list is actually endless. I think a woman’s honor is her own and as long as she is comfortable in her own skin, doing what she likes, the rest doesn't matter, shouldn't matter. This inherent necessity to control women’s lives starts from the minutest of things and assumes proportions beyond compare.
Female sexuality is something
which is at the center of this battle, a struggle for respect and liberty for women. And why
not, since it is one of the biggest issues over which there is continuing
disagreement. It seems to be the bone of contention with no resolution.
But my question is, why should it be so?
It is as if a woman
being comfortable with her body, wearing what she deems fit, is something to be
restrained by external factors. What happens next? Well, her character is
questioned if she dares go against those draconian diktats.
The society has this unfounded fear
of females who assert themselves, in whatever manner. When it comes to the female body,
there is this want, almost cannibalistic, to control it. Either it is done in the
name of honor or as a form of punishment to teach her a lesson.
It’s simple really, we don’t need
anybody to tell us what we can do with our bodies. How hard is that to
understand? The supporters of patriarchy or those who have been raised with a patriarchal
mindset fear women who express their sensuality and choice. What was being said
and done by men all along, the same if articulated by a woman in so many words creates
a furor. This dichotomy stems from something that has been drilled in
our mindsets that women need to be submissive. The sad reality being women too
abuse other women giving voice to this misogynistic approach.
A society where men and women can
do what they want would be ideal. But to reach that point some feathers have to
be ruffled. And perhaps it’s better if humanity doesn't measure women on its
moral compass because like it or not we are going to ask questions, we are
going to challenge decrees. It might take time, we may be ridiculed
for doing what we want to and saying what we want to but that will not stop us.
We will push boundaries, knock down the walls and reiterate that our life is
ours to live within our own moral standards. And we no longer depend on society’s
approval for anything. The struggle had begun decades ago and it will continue.
We won’t be stopped or our voices muzzled by the intolerant and conceited faction
with misplaced understanding of all that is a woman. Oh, and our sexuality is ours to
assert or conceal, not the society’s to uphold. We have miles to go before we
sleep but afraid we are certainly not.