Female Sexuality Is Not Yours To Keep

It’s so easy to sit on a pedestal and pass judgments, isn't it? Judge people, more specifically women on a scale of morality designed on the whims of the society. Well, it certainly seems so, otherwise the kind of ludicrous declarations in the name of upholding culture, traditions or the labels attributed to women wouldn't have been made in the first place. And it doesn't end there, does it? From your home to your work place, there is no dearth of people who feel this innate urge to make things difficult for women, any woman. And they belong to both sides of the gender divide. Whether they do it consciously or subconsciously, well, doesn't even matter.

Something as basic as what a woman wears strangely seems to be everybody else’s business. Why? Well, apparently the honor of the family and society rests on what she wears. And it’s not even restricted to only that, not that it’s acceptable even at that. It extends to whom she chooses as her life partner, if she chooses a life partner at all, if she goes on to become a mother or not. The list is actually endless. I think a woman’s honor is her own and as long as she is comfortable in her own skin, doing what she likes, the rest doesn't matter, shouldn't matter This inherent necessity to control women’s lives starts from the minutest of things and assumes proportions beyond compare.

Female sexuality is something which is at the center of this battle, a struggle for respect and liberty for women. And why not, since it is one of the biggest issues over which there is continuing disagreement. It seems to be the bone of contention with no resolution. But my question is, why should it be so?

It is as if a woman being comfortable with her body, wearing what she deems fit, is something to be restrained by external factors. What happens next? Well, her character is questioned if she dares go against those draconian diktats.

The society has this unfounded fear of females who assert themselves, in whatever manner. When it comes to the female body, there is this want, almost cannibalistic, to control it. Either it is done in the name of honor or as a form of punishment to teach her a lesson.

It’s simple really, we don’t need anybody to tell us what we can do with our bodies. How hard is that to understand? The supporters of patriarchy or those who have been raised with a patriarchal mindset fear women who express their sensuality and choice. What was being said and done by men all along, the same if articulated by a woman in so many words creates a furor. This dichotomy stems from something that has been drilled in our mindsets that women need to be submissive. The sad reality being women too abuse other women giving voice to this misogynistic approach.

A society where men and women can do what they want would be ideal. But to reach that point some feathers have to be ruffled. And perhaps it’s better if humanity doesn't measure women on its moral compass because like it or not we are going to ask questions, we are going to challenge decrees. It might take time, we may be ridiculed for doing what we want to and saying what we want to but that will not stop us. We will push boundaries, knock down the walls and reiterate that our life is ours to live within our own moral standards. And we no longer depend on society’s approval for anything. The struggle had begun decades ago and it will continue. We won’t be stopped or our voices muzzled by the intolerant and conceited faction with misplaced understanding of all that is a woman. Oh, and our sexuality is ours to assert or conceal, not the society’s to uphold. We have miles to go before we sleep but afraid we are certainly not.