#MicroblogMondays:Illusions of Change or maybe not

A new year, a new beginning but somehow everything still appears the same. And yet still very different. Change, at times, seems like an illusion. Almost like an oasis in a desert, only it is not that but just a mirage. But then again change is also the only constant in life. Everything changes, whether for better or for worse is something which is debatable. It is all a matter of take. Whether we look towards the ending or anticipate a new beginning, that very perception. The cliched example being of a glass half full or half empty. Or, maybe both?

Do I feel any different this new year? I don’t know. I think nobody does. I’m still the same person, maybe more confused than I was last year and the year before that. Or, maybe more confident than my own self from the past years. Who knows what the truth is? It’s again a matter of perception or belief. But changed, yes I have. And then again I have not as well. It’s quite hard to put a finger on it. I think the scales are skewed a bit, sort of new with a lot of the old. Bag and baggage together makes me what I am today, even on a new beginning. What about you? How do you feel in this New Year? Any different?

Does the New Year make you more hopeful about everything? Does something as important as how you look at building a rapport also get stroked with a magic wand of promise and positivity with a new beginning? Well, it doesn't really for me. While some changes do take place, there are parts of you that never do, like how you protect your feelings from insensitive people around you. And once you have that all worked out, that change becomes a permanent feature in you. So a change and then not much of a change again.

Once a believer in only the good in people, today you might look for the oddities, the wrongs, just to be a step or two ahead. It happened to me and no amount of optimism for the New Year has been able to change that. You analyze, you weigh, you remain skeptical and then gradually open up if need be. And what better way of doing that than just being prepared for it. Not an ideal situation I agree but that’s a defense mechanism that builds up over the years, sometimes even unknown to you. It stays dormant and then suddenly raises its head like a serpent to guard you. And maybe being cynical about an unknown person or situation is not a bad thing after all. I must admit I’m distrustful and suspicious about the motives of people I don’t know about, being hurt once or twice by close friends will do that to you. It changes you and maybe it’s a good thing. I know for a fact that it helps me protect myself and my emotions. I’m sure you have your own mechanisms as well. Life teaches you that and it keeps changing; evolving rather. And navigating through the delusions of life, I think it’s imperative you have one. But then again is it really a change or just a long lost part of your subconscious reacting to stimulus?

I think you and I are the sum of all the changes and the constants in us. Sometimes the constants are the changes that have taken place over years while the changes are just the constants seen in a different light altogether. But be what it may, the fact is New Year or not certain things remain unaffected by it all.

Stirrup Queens