Lingering in the past isn't as bad as you think it is..

While life is all about going forward, the promising future, you can’t help but think about the past, can you? A treasure trove of all that you were, something more precious than words could ever show. 

Every time I take a trip down memory lane I see myself, left behind, a shadowy figure almost, unable to tear rapports nurtured fondly, however frivolous. I feel parts of me stranded are at several junctures, long traversed. I know it sounds ridiculous but you might want to give it a thought. Maybe you feel the same way too; with some varying connotations perhaps.

When I form a bond a part of me stays back, always. Memories or emotions, call it what you may, but there is certainly something that ties the present to those past curves in life. A certain kind of verve, in my view, forces you to turn back and you see your very own self staring right back at you, a segment left behind at every significant fork.

Today I keep going back to that bit of me left behind in Shillong. I grew up there, which you might know by now since I keep talking about it from time to time. Or, rather from post to post.

Shillong for me is the most beautiful place in the world, one which has made me what I am today. My thoughts, beliefs and even the things I like, are very much a result of my years there. Maybe because it is so close to my heart that I tend to neglect anything wrong with it, if anything at all. Peaceful, yes that’s what I feel when I let myself drift away to the calming memories of the place which was once home.

If you ask me where I’d rather be if given a chance, a chance to run away from the musts of life, I’d say Shillong. It’s a part of me, within me and somehow I still miss it.

Have you ever missed a place? If you did then you’ll know how it is. Carrying its memories, lanes, streets and just everything about it anywhere you go. There was nor is any other place that compares. And there will never ever be another one too. Shillong for me is that. It is my yardstick to a happy life. Does it make sense to you?

My home there, a cottage surrounded by hills, trees, and a beautiful garden. I don’t think I’ll ever get to live anywhere as charming as that again. Little did I know then that my life there was just a temporary phase? I still close my eyes and take a tour of my school placed on top of a hill overlooking the busiest square in town. A smile appears on my lips instantly thinking about fetes and inter school championships. The camaraderie, romances and friendships, innocence and sentiments at its best. Purest and unadulterated. Friends that I made there are still very much a part of my life, the ones who truly care.

I think of it as a painting, a living and breathing portrait, in green and vibrant colors of spring. And then when I turn to winters it all dons reds and greens. It’s my happy place. I take refuge in its memories to hide from the insensitivity of life as a grown up. Shillong is everything that I identify bliss with. I miss it and maybe I always will. In fact, I know I always will. The only solace is perhaps getting lost in its memories occasionally and knowing for a fact that a part of me is still very much there.

Tell me, do you feel this way about any place? And, do you think a part of you is still there?

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