Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown.
Yes, I think I had read this during one of my English classes in school.
But why am I recalling this all of a sudden, today? Not that I wear any kind of crown or am the king, rather queen, of any place, even in my wildest imagination.
Well, I guess it has got to do with the additional responsibilities that have come my way in the past month or so. Let's just put it this way, two reluctant and utterly stubborn, egotistical people have made me slightly weary. No matter how much I try there seems to be a wall I end up shoving myself against when I deal with them. I don't like confrontation. As far as possible I try to avoid such things. But with these two I think I need to be at my strictest best, which trust me is hard. However, I'm learning. As much as they would like to walk all over me, I couldn't let that happen. I guess it's all part of the process. Learning curve, I presume?
I have realized I'm suddenly bringing back the anxiety from work home these days. And I certainly wasn't like that before. I don't want to sit here and waste my weekends fussing about them. The feeling is horrible. With S being away I miss my support system. Of-course, he's always a phone call or a Whatsapp message away but it's so much better when he's there in person to calm my nerves.
Well, since that can happen only in December, it's all up to me to feel better, isn't it? After all we need to always fight our own battles no matter how much support we have. And it should be that way too.
Hence, I thought why not just write it down and get over this upsetting, egging feeling of being treated like a pushover? I'll deal with them at the work place, right?
Hence, I just wrote. But did I get over it? Well, I think I'll be good for a while. The toxins are now out, diffusing, getting lost in the blogging universe.
Writing is therapeutic. Just writing about this has made me feel better. It was like an annoying fly buzzing around in the periphery of my vision. So I think writing is really a cleansing process. As soon as thoughts translate into words, the uneasiness vanishes, in varying degrees though. Not completely always but certainly makes you feel lighter. The heart starts feeling better.
'Let the bitterness dissolve into the universe so there is space to take in all things positive.'
In other news, I have finished reading 'Before I go to Sleep
' this week. And I must say I really enjoyed it. I guess there's really one way to describe it. Unputdownable!
pick it up too.
I've began with Dissolution
next but the progress hasn't been quiet as good as I would have liked it to be. Headaches, actually, have been playing the spoil sport here. So have decided to take it slow on the reading front for a while.
Well, that's all for today.
With a promise to not let any external factors, or any person for that matter, cast a shadow on my mood, at-least for sometime, I'll sign off now.
Have a great weekend.