The weekend went by at whirlwind speed
but, tell you what, I have no complaints at all. Two books read, ‘Angel
of the Dark’ & ‘In
the Darkest Corner’, in two days’ time while soaking in the winter sun sitting in
my cozy balcony. Time well spent, don't you think? And I
can’t help but grin from ear to ear basking in the glow of these wonderful books,
two awesome tales. I can say that you need to pick these up immediately too, if you haven't already. Of-course, if I had to choose one among the two than I'd pick the latter. I think it was one of the best psychological thrillers I've ever read.
Back to the reality of office and I put aside books, though reluctantly, for some time. And when in between excel sheets and applications, I ended up having a chat with my
project mates today, all girls, I simply had to write something about it.
The conversation veered from one point to another
finally resting on the topic of how our society demands so much out of women, especially when married. Particularly on what women should wear. Yes, that age old discussion of what is apparently 'appropriate' for a woman to wear however irrelevant and annoying it sounds.
One of the girls I was speaking to, married just 3 months back, told about how her
husband only recently allowed her to wear sleeveless salwar suits. It seems he was against it initially. It’s strange, isn't it? What a woman wears is suddenly
to be decided by another man? Very Sad. Unfair. And to my sheer frustration this is not the first time I have heard
something like that. There are women who don’t wear leggings with kurtas
because their husbands don’t approve of it.
Do you see what point I’m trying to make here?
Why this interference or this need to control a woman’s choices? I really don’t
understand. I believe in wearing, eating and doing what I like to. In simple terms, I won't live my life on your or a third person's terms. And thankfully I have been lucky to have a partner who respects that. But I guess what I take as liberty is seen as a special allowance by another.
Maybe the way out is for wives to
make it clear to husbands that what they wear isn't up for discussion. But is
it that easy for all? I'm not in their shoes so I can't probably assess that. The fact is not all women can rebel even though I strongly feel that they
should. So maybe as a society, as a country, we need to back off. What do you say?
In the book In the Darkest Corner
, there is a character Lee, who tries to control everything in the life of the female protagonist, Cathy. What she wears, where she goes, whom she talks to and perhaps what she eats even. He did that because he was a sociopath. This urge or need to control another person is not healthy. And I think it's high time we as a society learn to live and let live.
To the control freaks I say...
Let women be. Let them wear what they want to. And if you are so particular about how women should dress and seem to be losing sleep on it, then maybe you yourself can wear or not wear those clothes instead? Don't dump your thoughts, likes or dislikes, in guise of the culture card on women. Give it up!
Remember, live & let live!
It's time we toss these controlling habits away for good.