Your Birthday Or Mine?

Me: But it’s your birthday na!

S: Yes and we’ll go out this weekend and have a nice dinner.

Me: All that is okay but birthdays are supposed to be special. There should be cakes, gifts, dinners and more. You didn't even let me get you cake or at least a few pastries this year!

S: It’s okay. You know I don’t care much for those things.

Me: What you don’t care that I bring cakes for you? (I said this with a quizzical and hurt expression)

S: No. I mean yes I care. God! But you know how uncomfortable I’m when all the attention is on me. We’ll go out some other day. All that matters to me is that we are spending the day together, which we are.

Me: But it’s your BIRTHDAY! Special day you know! I was so excited about it.

S: Err… are you talking about your birthday or my birthday?

Me: Of-course yours!

S: Are you sure? (And he chuckled in his trademark style)

Me: Well. Alright it’s a little about my birthday too.

S: On your birthday we went to Paris na? I want to stay at home on mine. That is enough for me and I know you care. You don’t have to do anything extra.

Me: But why? Oh God S you have become so boring just like Doordarshan!

And I stomped off angrily. How on earth could he not enjoy his birthday? Why didn't he want cakes? And on top of that no dinner outside? It was like someone was killing every ounce of joy inside me. It was as if I was not being allowed to breathe. Birthdays, dinners at favorite restaurants and cakes. Wasn't it like sacrilege not doing these things on your birthday? 

How could we not go out on his birthday? How? How? How? 


Truth be told I was really irritated. I mean these celebrations make up for memories and he had nipped this year’s memories in the bud. Well alright let’s not be so dramatic. But he had just let this year’s birthday slip away like a normal day. And that was wrong. Not only had be stopped me from getting him a cake but he had also urged me not to give him any surprise gifts. In fact, only after much persuasion did he agree to let me order something for him. But much to my annoyance he only wanted track pants! Who wants those as birthday gifts? Who? I know. No one!

So as you must have guessed by now I was really upset that a day as special as his birthday was ending without us doing anything worth remembering. That was not fair. Not at all.


So while I sat with a frown on my face he tried to get the router to work just like he would've done on any other day! Though we ordered home delivery that night but on a birthday that somehow seemed insufficient.

So finally S made me sit next to him and we had the birthday talk!

S: Why are you so upset? It’s my birthday and you have this look on your face.

Me: It’s your fault. You ruined this day. We could have enjoyed so much.

S: We still can. Okay you want me to enjoy on my birthday. Right?

Me: Yes. And that’s why I wanted to go out tonight!

S: But I’m enjoying at home. All I need is for you to smile. Can you do that?

Me: But who enjoys at home on birthdays?

S: I do. But all I need is for you to be happy too. Let’s make a deal okay? On your birthdays we will go out and do all that things that you want done on a birthday. But on my birthdays we will do it my way.

Me: Hmm…okay. But cakes, gifts and dinners can’t be compromised with. Deal?

S: Haha. Why do I even try? Okay. Whatever makes you feel happy? Deal! Now can we smile?

Me: Certainly!

And we toasted over some left over wine and chicken lolly-pops. Of-course, I did realize one thing from this entire episode. Subconsciously I’ve begun thinking of his birthday as mine. I don’t know when that transition happened but it did. And for me birthdays are all about gifts, cakes and grand dinners. So I was crest fallen when S decided against doing anything this year. I know it’s not fair. It was his birthday after all! But then after eight years of being together starting from college I think I have every right to think of his birthday as mine. What do you say?

PS: I’m not crazy. I’m just extremely particular about birthdays ;-)