A Confession, an Apology and perhaps Absolution Too?

Have you ever judged a person? 

You don’t have to tell me but think about it. Keep the answer to yourself but do think about it.

I feel awfully ashamed to admit that I have. I'm guilty of judging people, at times knowingly while at times unknowingly. But the worst of the lot happened just the other day.

The terrible thing was that I was doing it without even noticing that I was! It’s not something that can be overlooked. What I did isn't something that I’m proud of at all. But maybe I need to put my action out there so that I never repeat this idiocy again.

'How would I be any different from anyone else if I too jump into the frenzy of people judging, criticizing and mocking others without remorse?'

It so happened that we were going back home after office, talking, when my sister interrupted me. I was busy mocking Sonakshi Sinha and her movies. Apparently I didn't like her. And the reason evidently was her weight. When I rewound my words in my mind after being stopped I felt like such a fake person. I wish she had flicked the back of my head instead of just stopping me. While I go on harping about our society being prejudiced against women and belittling them there I was judging a woman myself. So utterly disgraceful. But whom do I apologize to?

Well, I think it is you my readers.

I have no right to mock a woman, any woman. In fact, I have no right to mock anyone. It is wrong and something that is a big black mark on my beliefs and the kind of person I want to be.

'I'm not a hypocrite and I can't be one!'

You know it felt as if I had cheated on my own values that day. And why? Because apparently her being well endowed was a bad thing? You know from that moment onward I’ve been feeling like an empty book, one full of blank pages. Somewhere I think I let myself down massively that day. But thank heavens I had my sister to stop me so that I could introspect. How would I be any different from anyone else if I too jump into the frenzy of people judging, criticizing and mocking others without remorse?

So to you my readers I apologize. I know how important it is to practice what we preach. I promise to do so, to be more careful and more so when it comes to women. I cannot do what some others do. I cannot let women down. I cannot let myself down else how would I write on issues that trouble women? I'm not a hypocrite and I can't be one. I can't be a traitor to the cause that I so passionately believe in. I don’t want everything I write or advocate to end up being meaningless. Not even subconsciously. No!

So there I bared my heart out about something wrong that I did. I hope now I can forgive myself for this misstep and move forward.

Before you leave this page tell me something. Have you ever disappointed yourself by acting in a certain way or saying something that you shouldn't have in the first place? If yes, then how did you correct the wrong?

Would love to hear your views and rebukes for my misstep too.