Trivialize No More!

You know every time I write a post around the issues that concern women I’m faced with a rather peculiar rebuttal, actually it’s more of a statement really. It is something that initially irked me a lot. But after a few times all it did was make me smile at the naivety of those making the case and now I have actually become quite adept in ignoring those comments altogether. But today when I’m extremely bored at office, I thought it could actually be a great time to ponder a little on this ‘statement’ and close this chapter once and for all. What do you think? Oh yes, right, I haven’t even told you what it is! So shall we begin?

So every time there is a post on my blog about the prejudices against women there is at least one person who comes to me, virtually of course, and tells me I should stop for men also have enough problems of their own and nobody seemingly cares about them. I should close shop (read take down my blog) for I don’t voice the sufferings of men. Point taken. Men have problems. But my friend who’s stopping anyone from writing about men and highlighting the issues they face? I certainly am not. All I’m doing is voicing my concern on the regressive attitude of this society towards women. That’s it. My talking about women’s issues doesn't trivialize men’s issues. Anyone and everyone is free to talk on that. But just because someone thinks my speaking about women is actually speaking against men I’m not going to stop what I’m doing. I certainly am not! These kind of irrational arguments don’t take anything away from the seriousness of the matters pertaining to women that I highlight. So again I stress who’s stopping anyone from writing or fighting for men? Tell me who is? But using this argument to gag anyone who speaks about women, frankly, is a little, actually completely distasteful.

I find it hard to process when people try to silence pro-women voices on the pretext that men too have problems and since they ‘apparently don’t create a hullabaloo’ about it so shouldn't women. I, of-course, seriously doubt when someone says that men don’t whine. Please, I stress again pro-women is not anti-men. But yes any man who makes the life of a woman hard is certainly on the castigating end of the spectrum for me or any other woman for that matter. And yes we do hate such men. Let there be no doubt I’m certainly ‘anti’ such men and anyone who supports them; so are other women.

Remember Sonali Mukherjee who was chastised with acid for standing up to scoundrels? And she is not the only one. Tell me then what justifies that kind of inhuman act? Tell me do men face this danger too on a daily basis? Enlighten me if they do on the scale that women do. But you know what I will still ask you to raise your voice even if one man has been a victim of such vicious acid attack for saying no to a woman. Also I promise not to trivialize it by saying that I have more cases of women victims with me and that yours is just a one off case. Every individual’s suffering is worth highlighting. I just choose to speak from the side of women for I personally feel connected to women, I being one.

Priyadarshini Mattoo. Remember her? Sadly women can’t even reject proposals or advances without fearing being raped and killed, even if that fear engulfs their mind for just a moment. So don’t you think the problems of women are important enough? Or, is belittling women’s issues the latest fashion? And that’s not all. When I talk about the day to day struggles of married woman I’m faced with the peculiar argument that women nowadays are too opinionated and are in fact misusing their rights. Having opinions and not toeing the archaic lines of society becomes abuse of rights, really? Of course, if someone chooses to turn a blind eye to the truth I can’t do anything, can I?

To everyone who ridicule or look with questioning eyes at the problems faced by women across India I want to tell you this, just quoting cases where women are the perpetrators of wrong doings against men or in-laws doesn't solve the pan Indian problem. Rapes, Dowry, diktats on what women should wear or not and lack of security for women are real problems and don’t just occur once in a blue moon. Not that they are justified if the occurrences are rare. So these struggles, these issues need to be addressed again and again if we want things to change.

Just because a handful of women are independent doesn't mean problems have ceased to exist. Even the women who have made it on their own are not spared jibes from in-laws or the society at large for doing what they do. They are not spared from being raped or killed. So if these women are not spared the derision imagine the condition of women in smaller towns and villages. I don’t need to educate you on how women are killed ruthlessly or tortured throughout their lives in the name of morality or traditions. And yes one more thing just because rapes happen in other countries too doesn't mean they should and it also doesn't mean that women are safe in India. So there that’s what I wanted to say. The issues that I highlight or that we all highlight are very real. Please do not scoff at issues that real women face on a day to day basis unless of-course you don’t mind stooping too low and that is how you feed your soul! Please don’t try to justify even a single wrong that is done to a woman. We are fighting for our rights for let’s face it our society hasn't really given women what they deserve, at least not to every woman and every girl. 

Thank You!

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