A is for Alone in Agony

It was getting dark as Rita sat by her window looking at the returning office goers. The street outside seemed to have suddenly livened up. The honks of cars, the chatter of people walking through the footpaths and the music in the diner next to her apartment filled the air beyond her window. But it only made Rita realize how in contrast to the world outside her life within the apartment was, full of melancholy and fading memories.

It had been two weeks since the fateful train accident which had snatched away Matthew from her, leaving a void in her life. But somehow she still felt that at any moment he would walk in through the door with his soiled shoes. That she would rebuke him first and then spend the evening talking about the day and plan for their future together. But she knew that these hopes were but dupes.

'I don't know what to do... How do I live without him? I don't know how to. I've forgotten how to...I can't!'  Rita thought as she sobbed, her eyes still on the street below. She had not gone to work for two weeks now and she didn't know when she would be able to go again. 'How to carry on without you Matt...How do people do it? I just...I just feel so lonely and lost....I'm so alone Matt...I wish you'd not taken the train that day! I wish you had stayed home...hmm!'

This was how she spent her days, talking to herself, as mornings turned into nights.

'Ohh...Matt you've no idea how much I miss you...This life is...' and her chain of thoughts was broken by a knock at her door.

She walked reluctantly to open it for she didn't want to face anyone. In-fact she had even stopped her family from visiting. All she wanted was to be alone, mourn alone.

'Who could it be?' she thought as she opened the door to see her sister, Keira, standing outside.

"What took you so long to open the door?" Keira said as she walked past Rita into the kitchen where she first poured wine into a glass, took a sip and continued "Okay sis it's time for you to pack. Enough of being locked up in this apartment. You need to get out."

"Pack? For where?" Rita asked still standing at the door"I don't want to go anywhere or be with people now. Please leave me to myself!" Rita then shut the door and finally walked to the kitchen where Keira seemed to be looking for something.

"See that's your problem. You never listen." said Keira throwing her hands up in the air as she went through the kitchen shelves  "Don't you have anything to eat in this apartment?" 

"What? Keira!" exclaimed Rita as she continued unperturbed by Rita's annoyance "I'm not going but you are honey. Here are your tickets to Italy." and she handed the tickets to Rita. "Wait Italy was where you always wanted to go right?"

"What?" sighed Rita as Keira continued "Just consider it a gift from me..You want to be alone..fine! Suit yourself  but just don't be alone in this apartment with Matt's memories. It'll only make you feel worse...So go be alone in Italy...at-least it will be a change of scene...please!"

Rita didn't know what to say. It was just like Keira to barge in and in her own way offer a solution to problems. 'Maybe Keira is right' she thought. Moreover Rita had lost the will to make any decisions for herself.

"Okay..I'll go..okay!" said Rita as she hugged Keira crying "Thank You...!"

"Okay..that's enough now order me some food will you...?I don't have much money left after these tickets! You couldn't have dreamt of going somewhere nearby..could you?" chuckled Keira as she patted Rita's back. There were tears in Keira's eyes too but she knew Rita would be alright with time. She just needed some time alone, away from the constant reminders of Matt's memories to heal. "Okay don't drown me in your tears woman..." continued Keira "What does one have to do around here to get some food?"

"Alright! Alright!" said Rita as she looked at Keira wiping her tears and grabbed the phone to order some pizza, smiling for the first time since Matt. Perhaps this was what she needed. She knew she would overcome this agony. Keira had given her the push and she knew it was for the best.


A is for healing Alone when in Agony....and that's the tone of today's tale...

Linking this post for A to Z Challenge. As I promised in the theme reveal post, as part of the Challenge I'm going to write short stories with one or more emotions beginning with the alphabet of the day as the prompt or central idea for the post. Hope you enjoy the challenge!

Linking this to UBC too.
Many of my blogger friends are also taking part in a host of challenges this month. Shower some love on them, won't you? Oh Please ! You know we bloggers are suckers for comments :)

Phew! If I missed tagging you, please shout out here :)