It should not come as a shock to you if I say that our country is full of Aunts who justify the tag - #ConditionSeriousHai
. Whether in the form of relatives or neighbors, these mortals lurk behind shadows all through our lives. In-fact they are hysterically more serious about our lives than their own.
Don’t believe me? Read on.
When a carefree little bird in school, the eagle eyed aunt, a friend’s mother, unfailingly keeps a watch on our fluttering wings so much so that it makes us wonder if we were not actually taken from her at birth. Hawk-eyed, she follows wherever we go, like the glue that just refuses to wear off waiting to tell on our mistakes, almost breathing down our necks. That's one Aunt #ConditionSeriousHai for you!
And then the blithe college life brings the nosy neighborhood aunts who halt their lives just to harp on our career tunes. So worried and sick about our future are they that sometimes even our family’s concern seems lackluster in comparison. They become the pseudo Fairy God Mothers. Only difference being they smother more than mother; another Aunt #ConditionSeriousHai symptom true!
During our solitary flight of fancy as working adults there come those prying related aunts like untoward packages from heaven literally pushing us on to any Tom, Dick and Harry for marriage. The frenzy surrounding us and marriage seems to excite them to such a level of euphoria that the moment we take the plunge it is they who moan in satisfaction and not us. Classic Aunt #ConditionSeriousHai again mind you!
But the ones that take the cake have to be the aunts who shower uninterrupted attention on us after marriage to pop-out off-springs; as if a ritual to be completed within a fortnight! This is the sort of Aunt #ConditionSeriousHai that I'm going to be telling you about.
Let’s call her Aunt Make-a-Baby
going forth, shall we for she is nothing like, in fact definitely a notch above, the others?
Nobody had told me that along with S, I would be marrying into Aunt Make-a-Baby’s
concerns as well! Just two months into marriage is when my husband, S, and I faced the first bout of her grave condition. Of-course, S now says that the symptoms had always been there but it had never really surfaced up until then. It all began when she called me on a beautiful May afternoon, bear in mind that we had only been married in March of that year. So on that call her first words to me were not ‘Hi’
but ‘Any Good News Naba?’
And yours-truly, taking her words literally, went on yapping about how we had just come back from the beautiful shores of Mauritius unaware of her exasperation on the other end. And that’s not all! I even went on to ask if she had any good news to share herself! Blooper!
Silly! I know. But at that point of time good news to me actually meant good news and not a cryptic way of saying that one was in the family way. Certainly the later is also good news but I just couldn't relate to it then in that sense. What can I say I wasn't even out of the newly-married feel yet let alone think about becoming a mom? Of-course, Aunt Make-a-Baby
had other ideas. She didn't take my answers too kindly, or for that matter my question too, and I was subjected to a lecture about the importance of taking my husband’s family forward, yadda yadda yadda! And I thought to myself if I was actually on a clock or timer, else what could explain the rush?
That my friends was the first instance of Aunt Make-a-Baby's
chronic verbal diarrhea on the subject of our future off-spring for whom she seemed more eager than the both of us; a condition which only worsened with time.
Go prepare a baby! When are you making a baby? Why the delay in making a baby? Any good news? Have you tried making a baby? Baby! Baby! Baby!
She seems stuck on these words much to our dismay. Sometimes I wonder if she thinks a baby is a cuisine to be prepared! In-fact, maybe she thinks making a baby is akin to preparing a salad for judging by her talks on that subject it seems that we only need to zap our fingers to prepare one! Her questions are relentless and it makes me wonder what would happen if we continue not answering to her satisfaction.
More over with her living in Delhi where the past few months have only been about dharnas
, I hope she doesn't end up at Jantar Mantar
one day with a placard that reads ‘Pass the Baby bill and make it into a law Naba!Now!’
So far somehow we have dodged this make-a-baby bullet
. Somehow we have managed to steer clear of this collusion, of this contagious spell of urgency for an offspring on her part. But sooner or later it will catch up on to us. Sooner or later to save her from being under the weather out of concern for our yet unborn baby, I think we have to give in. Or, who knows maybe she’ll blink first and just stop asking! Possible?
At times I want to tell her that perhaps she should go and make or prepare a baby herself if she wants one so bad. But looking at her face and fearing that she will faint in surprise, I keep mum and leave it up to S to deflect her queries.
It has been almost 3 years since we have been married and she’s still going strong, relentless in her pursuit of S and me adding to the already exploding population of this country. Judging by her strenuous line of query on our posterity, I’m forced to wonder if babies are really made at the drop of a hat. What do you think?
Well that was, in fact is, the tale of our Aunt Make-a-Baby! Have you got such an Aunt in your lives? Let me know! And to all those who are yet to be married, keep an eye for the Aunt Make-a-Baby in your lives too for there always in one!