SC criminalizes everything Un-Indian

Known to be judiciously apathetic towards its basic duty leading to a humongous backlog of pending cases, the Supreme Court of India suddenly appears to have woken up from its deep slumber. With judgments being dished out left and right with ferocity it is being alleged that the judges are high on something, caffeine maybe! But apparently that is not the case.

If sources are to be believed, this sudden overactive attitude is due the addition of a new parameter called ‘Dark Age Decrees’ to the judges’ appraisals. Though self-explanatory, this is aimed at encouraging them to give rulings with the sole objective of sending India back to the Dark Ages, a noble cause indeed!

In light of the same the Supreme Court yesterday in a ‘morally right ruling’ upheld the 150 year old Section 666 of IPC criminalizing everything against Indian culture. In short, banning everything morallyun-Indian’ and thus ‘un-natural’. To add on to that the responsibility of deciding what is un-Indian and unethical has been placed on the most honorable group of individuals in our country. Yes, believe it or not the onus has been relegated on the fair shoulders of ignorant religious organizations and ofcourse the ‘highly esteemed’ intolerant section of our society like uneducated politicians; true rare gems of India certainly.

Judge ‘Archaic’-Medes read out a 100 page judgment, some of the highlights of which are noted here to prevent you from inadvertently breaking any laws. So here’s what the Supreme Court Judge had to say.

-         Eating Pizza, which is believed to be a vice from Italy and thus very much ‘Un-Indian’, is one of the many food items the intake of which has been criminalized. According to the judge, the food habits of the rest of the world do not go well with our Indian-ness. Moreover, since it is only a miniscule fraction of this country’s population which gets food anyways rules couldn’t be changed for an insignificant percentage.

-         Wearing night suits in bed rooms has been banned from here after as night suits are not Indian attires. Women would need to wear sarees covering their heads while men dhotis and pagdis while going to sleep.

-         Having reading lamps in bedrooms is forbidden as the first light bulb was not made by an Indian, thus making these greatly ‘Un-Indian’ and thus ‘Un-natural’. The judge also advised that the bulbs in use in other countries cannot be blindly used in India.

-         Right to Upholding Archaic Indian and 18th Century British Beliefs would take precedence over Right to Privacy, Autonomy and Dignity.

-         Religiously misguided views are imperative and are to be taken seriously as against the basic right to live. The judge categorically stated that even though an individual’s choice doesn’t harm another individual, the action would be illegal unless approved by orthodox religious organizations.

-         Rapes of women, on the other hand, since very much a part of our social fabric has been exempted from Section 666 of IPC and the tag of being ‘Un-natural & Un-Indian’. Infact, the judges have recommended to de-criminalize rape cases around the country.

So what is you view of the judgment? But wait. Before you answer contemplate if sharing of your views is criminal or not as per our Supreme Court. Infact if you are a woman you need to think even harder. Why you ask? It is because antediluvian India never really believed in the free speech for women. And since the ruling was clearly based on resisting decent and evolving practices of the world, your answer if not within these guidelines could actually land you in jail!


While I use the above satire to comprehend the ridiculous judgment passed yesterday, here’s what I believe: The judgment by the Supreme Court of India which made homosexuality a crime is a great blow to the basic Right to Live. India already has its share of intolerant individuals and groups which make life miserable for all with the latter’s prejudiced views on religion, caste, creed, regions and more. We didn’t need the Supreme Court to provide them with more ammunition. Perhaps they could have used this vigor for sentencing to death the so called minor in the Nirbhaya Rape Case. It’s appalling and sad. Indians as it is have no hopes from those in power but now the judiciary seems to be in a different tangent altogether. A sad judgment, a regressive ruling, a black mark on Indian and Supreme Court’s History for sure!

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