D Boss’, a manager from the Software Giant ‘Only Policies ltd.’ has been awarded the Bharat Ratna. He is the first Manager of this industry to have been bestowed the highest civilian honor of the country. In a statement issued D Boss thanked all his subordinates for helping him achieve the impossible. Speaking to journalists while swiping out he said “I dedicate this honor to those developers and testers who have willingly sacrificed their personal lives at my behest.”
D
Boss’s ex-team member who spoke on condition of anonymity said that D Boss was the ideal IT Industry Manager.
He would make people work on weekends without sanctioning Comp-Offs. Not only
that D Boss’s team mates also believe
that he has excelled the art of arse-kissing and hence the recognition.
The committee which adjudicated the
award said that D Boss scored the
highest in the employee hatred index, a
rare feat! He was also the only Manager
with the highest rate of bad subordinate appraisals and leave request rejections.
Some of the points that sealed the
deal with the Bharat Ratna Board was
the fact that he made his team sit in their office cubicles for 12 long hours
even if it was just for refreshing cricinfo. D Boss also made sure that he paid no heed to the concerns of his
team members. Apart from that he demoralized those who actually worked and sang
praises of those who did their personal work in office time.
The Prime Minister congratulating D Boss said that with Managers like him in the Industry he was
sure that the entire working class would never suffer from the disorder of work life balance. Thus, India was in good
hands!
The award has also got D Boss his first television commercial. Acting being one of his prominent skills this
hardly comes as a surprise. After all he became a manager putting up an act of a
hardworking employee. In the ad D Boss is speculated to show the world how to annoy the queue outside a lift by working on a Blackberry, blocking the way completely.
The HR Department of Only Policies ltd has also made sessions
by D Boss mandatory for confirmation
of new employees. The course is titled "Annoy the Employees-101". As per HRD, following D
Boss’s footsteps would enhance the credibility of the company as an Employee Un-Friendly Organization. Infact, a book deal also seems imminent for D Boss for his knowledge needs to be shared.
In other news, another manager of
the same company has been booked under the Employee
Happiness Prevention Act, as he dared sanction sick leaves for his ailing
team member.
