Breaking News : State Visa Bill Passed!

Breaking News: Indians to need Visa to go from one state to another within India!

In a path breaking decision the Parliament of India has passed the State Visa Bill tabled by the Minister of Regional Chauvinism, Mr. My State. The ruling came after careful thought in which the opinion of the xenophobic common man was also taken into account.

Talks of the implementation of a State Visa had been doing the rounds for about a decade now. But it was the humble agitation by the educated younger generation, with blessings from India’s culturally rich older generations, which brought this historic bill to life. Ofcourse, there were those insane factions which opposed the bill terming it ridiculous. But their voices were rightfully quashed after cases under IPC section 122 were slapped against those blocs.

With the increasing crime rates across the country, experts with master degrees in the highly respected discipline of ‘Regional Chauvinism’ had argued that movement of people across State borders within the country had to be stopped. Creation of jobs and development due to the same was termed redundant. The fact that ‘migrants’ also pay taxes and contribute to the state’s economic growth was scoffed at. Careful line of reasoning proved that attacks on women, thefts, murders were all the result of relocation. And crimes committed by the natives in their own soil were nothing but innocent retaliation to havoc wrecked by the ‘migrant’ population. It was proved beyond reasonable doubt that prior to creation of jobs and movement of people from one state to another, India was a country free of crimes. Hence, the passage of bill comes as the turning point in our history towards a Crime Free India.

So going forward if you wish to work in a city which is not in your state, you would need to apply for Visa or Work Permit before booking your tickets. And if your child is to be born in a city where the official language is not your mother tongue you would need to apply for birth visa of your baby too. Also, the players of our national teams would need to apply visa to the state the captain belongs to. For holidays or medical visits to other states too you would need to apply the appropriate visa. Additionally, interstate marriages would also require sanction of the Regional Chauvinistic Marriage Board to be legalized.

The State Consulates have already been bombarded by Visa requests, to process which they would need the help of ‘outsider’ employees. The Director of the State Consulates has therefore published an advisory stating it would first issue Visas to its ‘migrant’ employees and then move full throttle towards requests from the common man.

At long last, India is seen marching towards a radiant regionally bigoted future with the passage of this exemplary State Visa Bill. As the nation chants “Long Live prejudiced India” and Arnab Goswami conducts another heated debate on this topic, the world looks on!