It must be Her!

Writing on women’s issues or talking about them is often perceived as anti-Indian or anti-culture by several men and surprisingly even women in this country. Sometimes I fail to understand how hard is it to actually acknowledge that be it our society or our culture, several notions and dogmas have stemmed out of it, often twisted and bent to favour the patriarchal society that we are part of. And these beliefs have not only caused discomfort but even gone on to pose danger to women’s well-being in general. 

I don’t need to educate you on the rising cases of rapes in our country. I also don’t need to remind you that every time a woman is raped, the questions asked are ‘What was she doing with the man in the first place?’ or ‘It must be due to what she was wearing?’ rather than ‘Who gave him the right to outrage her modesty?’

The infamous khaps or the other so called custodians of Indian culture never fail putting the blame on women when it comes to rapes. But have you ever wondered why this peculiar persistence on the idea that women should not arouse men. Why can’t we say that men need to keep a check on their libidos?

Sometimes the fault lies on the jeans that women wear or the cell phones they carry. Sometimes it is the time of day when she was found alone or her audacity to resist undue advances. At times it is due to her not being married off early enough or even the infamous Chinese delicacy ‘Chow Mein’. Every time with one pretext or the other, it is the woman who is blamed. The man, the supreme man, goes unscathed. 

I’m disconcerted that our society suddenly becomes so well versed in history defending deplorable actions by some men in the guise of protecting, or better yet respecting, archaic traditions. What is needed from them is the acknowledgement of the fact that ‘enough is enough!’ But that apparently seems too much to ask!

There is not a day when there is not even a single report of rape in the newspapers. Infact, for the past week I’ve been waiting for one such day. Just one day! But reality bites! The fact is from a baby being sexually molested to an 85 year old woman’s modesty being outraged; our country manages to do it all. 

Our society seems to be transforming at an alarming rate into a misogynistic haven. Or, perhaps it was already so. And it’s not about the north or south. It’s not about the east or west. It’s about the entire nation that we so proudly refer to as Mother India! A bunch of hypocrites, that’s who we are and quite rightly so.

Tell me what was your reaction the last time you heard of a rape? Think about it. If you felt helpless at not being able to save yet another woman from the clutches of certain savage men, there’s still hope in our country. But if you chose to ask questions about the woman’s presence at the scene of crime or how she came in her molester’s radar, then it’s time we turn back time and start living as savages blatantly. Why put on the sham of a civilized society when we clearly aren’t one? Why put on a façade when clearly every time we accuse the woman saying ‘It must be her’!

Countless women fall victim to rapes every year in our country. Countless women are killed, burnt alive or even muted to ensure that the molesters go scot free. Countless women are discarded by our (un)ethical society for being raped; they carry a burden that should rightfully have been their molester's. Is it really fair? Think about it.