I was in school when I came upon this
quote on friendship ‘Friendship
peculiar boon of heaven..The noble mind’s delight and pride...To men and angles
only given...To all the lower world denied!’ That was the time when the
idea of friendship fascinated me. It
was the time when friends and friendships
meant something more than a mere social ritual. It probably wouldn't be an
exaggeration to say that I was infatuated by this belief of friendship; the idea of a rapport where
I wouldn't be judged was enticing! But now that I think about it, I realize
that it was also the time when I had tremendous faith in the existence of fairies
and elves! So I probably should have known better than to get carried away by
this apparent boon from heaven!
Friends,
some say are those flowers in our bouquet of acquaintances that we pick
ourselves. They are neither forced upon us nor are we bound by any social
diktats to adhere to a specific bunch. It is all up to us, the friends we chose and the bonds we make. Well up-to that part I certainly agree. But how much of a good job do we really do in
selecting friends? Is the idea of
true friendship a reality or just
blatant optimism? My experiences far outweigh the latter but then it’s just me!
Friendship like any other
relationship, I hear, is a two way street. Lucky are those who have a bunch of
friends they can call their own. Lucky are those who are blessed with the gift of
true companionship. But I’m quite sure there are also those few unfortunate individuals
whose rosy notions about friendship have been shattered time and again; leaving
them scarred and bitter. Am I one of those? Well I am certainly scarred, a lot
bitter but also better off not harboring this fallacy of true friendship.
There are those that claim to be
your friends and then there are those that are actually your friends. I have
been fortunate to have had both; more of those that claimed to be friends or even soul sisters. But what remains now is just a profound void that I
am not quite sure that I want filled.
I have had friends who chose to abandon me when I chanced to do well in a
certain bend of life. I have had friends
who chose to dump me when the accolades, however small, were for me and not for
them. I have had friends who chose to
banish me from their circles when I fell in love; for apparently I was wrong to
listen to my heart. I have had friends who
chose to see the anger in me instead of the hurt and emotional turmoil when I
lived through the better part of a year nursing a burn injury. I have had friends who chose to turn their backs towards
me when I stood up for myself. I have had friends who chose to accept my good
qualities and not my imperfections. I have had friends who chose to detest me when I raised my temper but failed
to remember the times when they had done the same while I had remained quite;
always by their side. I have had friends whom
I had truly loved but they chose instead to move away. I have had friends I had tried to reconnect with
but they seemed far too distant to take those few steps towards me. I have had friends to whom I had gone time and
again after a fight; took the first step to mend fences but when I wished for
them to make that first move they chose never to come back. I have had friends who chose to carry
misunderstandings in their hearts rather than love. I have had friends who chose to take sides (not
mine!) rather than listen to my end of the story.
Do I miss them? Ofcourse, I do. It
would be wrong to say I don’t. But
what’s done apparently can’t be undone. What is lost is evidently lost forever.
Perhaps someday I’d get a few of them back. Perhaps someday I’d laugh over this
post of mine with them by my side! I
envy those lucky enough to have even a handful of true friends. I too have a couple of very good friends but then I could have had so many more; so many more! I
guess friendship is a boon that the
invisible power above chose to shower meagerly on me.
Stories
in those starry nights,
How
we shared each other’s sorry plights!
Smiles
and sobs all halved alright,
Those
innocent little fights,
All
things shared, black or white,
We
were once friends so tight!
I
know not who went wrong or right,
But
may you ,my friend , keep burning bright!
Having said all that, I also need
to acknowledge those few yet very special friends
in my life who have chosen to stand by me through thick and thin. Yes, I have a
friend in a sister who loves me; all of me, my good, my bad and my evil side
too! Yes, I have a friend in my husband, a friend who carries me through life’s
stormy weathers and turbulent seas. Yes, I have a friend who has been with me
since the very first day of school; fighting alongside me and warding off
anybody who dares hurt me too. Yes, I have three awesome friends from my very
first job, who never fail to remember me even from across the seven seas. With
all these wonderful people around, the pangs of friendship do become a distant reality and a faint memory!
Stories
in those starry nights,
Yes
we still share each other’s sorry plights!
Smiles
and sobs all halved alright,
We
still get over those innocent fights,
All
things shared, black or white,
Yes
we are forever friends so tight!
Whatever
goes wrong or right,
Our
Friendship will keep burning bright!