The Curious Case Of The Indian Mother-in-Law!

She forgets that a daughter was all she was once.
She forgets that a woman is what she is first.
She forgets that her daughter-in-law is where she was once.
She forgets that her daughter-in-law is a human first.

Well, folks that is the Great Indian Mother-In-Law, yes that is the notorious India Mother-in-law!

A mean conniving machine out to sabotage every peaceful moment of the female she strangely sees as her nemesis! Yes this is what I have heard most women define their mother-in-laws as. Judging by their tales and anecdotes, I’d say I rather agree to this classification of this breed of mutated female species!

Don’t believe me, do you? Well what would you say about a woman who makes her daughter-in-law wake up at 5 in the morning while her son gets uninterrupted beauty sleep? What would you say about a woman who forces her daughter-in-law to wear an uncomfortable saree while her fat and stout son roams around in mere shorts? What would you say about a woman who prepares fresh aloo paranthas for her son but would rather let her sick daughter-in-law starve? What would you say about a woman who would ensure that there is always friction between her son and his wife? What would you say about a woman who doesn't recognize her daughter-in-law’s legitimate duties towards her parents? What would you say about a woman who loathes her daughter-in-law’s independence? Well I don’t know about you but I’d sure want mother-in-laws such as these locked away in a place very much like the Alcatraz Island Prison! Often I am curious for I fail to understand how a woman can be so bitter and harsh on another, almost half her age.

Our society is such that the male child is place invariably on a pedestal. He is looked upon as one who can do no wrong and that fallacy is somehow taken as God’s diktat.  And in this myth a sort of blind adulation and conceit is born that makes the boy’s family feel superior to others; that makes the boy’s mother believe that she is a cut above the others! It makes her assume that she has the right to rule over any female that dares enter her boy’s world. Well news flash neither she nor her son is the centre of the universe! Yes she is still the mother of her sweet little boy who is now a grown man but that doesn't take away the fact that her daughter-in-law is now as much a part of his life as she is.

This anomaly in our social thread becomes more poignant in an Indian context for ours is a staunch patriarchal society where the only women who are considered important are these god forsaken, son-owning mother-in-laws. I don’t know about you, but I detest them. I think they are a bane to our already dishevelled society which can’t even bring itself to respect let alone protect its women.

The Nightmare called the Indian Mother-in-law is a reality. She interferes, abuses and robs you off your peace. You are lucky if you have one who is nothing like what I just mentioned. In-fact you are blessed for rarely do they package mother-in-laws in India without these defects!

Overbearing, controlling and manipulative are adjectives that describe these women the best. They are a nuisance for they destroy the very fabric of peace within a family and censure the girl who just entered the unknown household. Perhaps they are insecure or apprehensive or just vying for the attention of their son. But that doesn't warrant the mental, emotional and at times even physical torture they subject their daughter-in-laws to.

Well like it or not, they will be there in your lives and more often than not simply to wreak havoc! They won’t change now for they haven’t changed for centuries! But to bring changes in the lives of women, we need to ensure that their breed doesn't grow. One way of doing that is promising ourselves that if we go on to have sons ; we would be the complete antithesis of the Great Indian Mother -in-laws we know of today! It might seem like a trifle but it certainly isn't one. A mother-in-law that remains connected to herself as a woman will raise a good man, will be a mother rather than an in-law and will eventually pave way for a better Indian society!

Labels: ,