What comes to your mind when you read “A wife
murdered by her husband”? Any person, no actually any human being for that
matter would view this incident as the death of a relationship and the death of
the sanctity of love. Ofcourse the loss of a life too! Tragic, grotesque and
highly condemnable occurrence to say the least; well nothing can justify
murder; atleast not when it is premeditated and cold blooded.
Just last week the papers in my city went abuzz
with the hot and not so pleasing news of a man killing his wife with a knife
that he had specially carried all the way from Delhi down to Bangalore for that
particular purpose. But what happened next is what compelled me to write this
article. There is an E-Bulletin Board (where exactly I wish I could openly
point at!) where people discuss all sorts of topics like salary, sports, food,
and social, economic, political concerns and infact any issue or topic under
the sun. It is there that this latest news was also being discussed. What
ensued further gave credence to my opinion that this Indian Society is at the
Nadir of its very existence.
Being good or bad doesn’t warrant education; it
doesn’t determine the inclination of one towards either side. Ofcourse, it
could widen one’s perspective on contentious issues or superstitions or archaic
beliefs but beyond that it cannot make a person good or bad! The Forum where
this murder and its “probable cause” were being discussed was filled with
Engineering graduates and MBAs. Infact even with people who would have widely
travelled the world and belong to the so called “upper echelons” of society.
But the nit picking and dissection that this issue was subjected to with the
direction it was manoeuvred towards showed that the rot in our society is so
damn deep that even education wouldn’t be able to cure it!
So here’s what “justifications” these educated and
sophisticated men that walk in our midst drew from this gory murder. Number one
she must have been a whore for not heeding to the husband’s demand of helping
him with a loan to buy an all-important apartment in some city. Well my point
is don’t women have the right to say no? Or, do men want educated and working
wives but those that have no brains or thoughts of their own! Maybe she didn’t
want to move to that city. Just because he was the husband she should follow
him like a doormat for the hell of it!
Second; her parents lived with her so they were the
source of all problems and obviously
she must have been
extremely bad with her in-laws. So let me get this straight, a woman’s parents
can’t live with her and if they do its sacrilege? Are the parents of men born
with some sort of halo on their heads that only they need to be taken care of?
If the woman’s in-laws do not stay with her then the woman is a drab! So a
woman needs to always take care of her in-laws even though they treat her like
crap and forget those parents who brought her in this world? Does any man take this
kind of responsibility for his in-laws? How can a man blame a wife or expect
her to quietly complete all her duties for his parents when he doesn’t feel the
same sort of love or respect towards her family? Are responsibilities in relationships
akin to one way traffic? If a woman decides enough is enough and stands up for
her rights and her beliefs; then a man is justified to kill her?
Oh and there is more. Another person goes to say
that men should not marry educated girls because controlling one is trouble
Why because an educated woman is more likely to have a voice and you cannot mute
her at will? Is it because she is more likely to have the
chutzpah in her to guard her self-respect?
Shameful facts, disgraceful men! Wonder if that’s how most men think?
They want a wife; she has to be a working woman but she
shouldn’t be one with a backbone. She should earn but not have a say. She
should bring in her entire salary to her ‘husband’s home’ and not give a penny
to her parents or siblings. Yes, ‘husband’s home’ I say for people tend to
forget that it is her house too!
Hypocrites in the form of men and even women make up our society. They
need a woman but they can’t respect one. They need a woman but they don’t know
the value of one. They are born out of a woman still they don’t hesitate to